Decisions and Self-Reflection
Decisions, decisions, decisions! Most, if not all, of my clients are in the process of making some decisions. Some of these are life decisions such as changing jobs, relocating, retirement, or taking on a larger leadership role. Other decisions fall more into the problem solving area, and may be on a smaller scale, such as moving office space, deciding whether or not to bring up an issue with a friend, determining how to increase visibility at work, or deciding whether to take some classes.
There are a variety of ways in which we make decisions, such as decision trees, force field analysis, lists of pros and cons, talking to friends and family, and so forth. However, a powerful tool for making decisions, which is sometimes overlooked, is self reflection. This can be either a short time out, or (I suggest) a regular practice of self reflection, which will help you make decisions that are more aligned with who you are.
Whether the decision is large or small, some process of self reflection will allow room for clarity on your criteria, what is meaningful to you, and what matches your priorities.
For some of my clients, self-reflection is quite difficult. Whether you call it "going within", "self discovery," or "self reflection," it requires a time and place to get quiet and do some hard work. Do you have an ongoing practice for self discovery? Do you have a practice of taking time out to reflect on the day, on decisions, on what is important to you? Taking time out to be quiet and reflective means changing the pace of your normal routine.
What are we actually looking for when we go inward? What does that phrase really mean? One of my mentors, Dr. Fredric Hudson, coined the term “cocooning” as a phase we all go through during transition. This is the time we talk to ourselves, get in touch with our core values and re-evaluate our situation. When we are in the “cocooning” phase we are usually in the unknown, unsure of what will happen next. It is this uncertainty and worry that we will not find the answer that sometimes prevents us from taking the quiet time alone.
Effective self-discovery requires some faith that an answer will emerge through quiet examination. In our fast-paced, results-oriented culture, we tend to think that "doing" will give us an answer. It takes some discipline to allow ourselves to simply be, to sit and contemplate who we are, and to think about how a potential decision aligns with our values.
One of my clients was doing quite a bit of reading on his “life purpose” as a way to decide whether he should pursue other opportunities in his current career, or change careers entirely. He realized he was not doing any of the self-reflection exercises or activities in the books. He was therefore making little progress in moving forward. Self-discovery means time with yourself to ponder and “be in the question” without figuring it out. These "time outs" usually lead to more energy and clarity.
What are the questions and decisions you are thinking about? How can you use self-reflection to enhance your decision-making?
Tips from Clients
The self-reflection process can take many forms. What is important is to find something that works for you and is done on some regular basis. Here are some tips from my clients on what they have found successful:
COPYRIGHT AND PUBLISHER INFORMATION
© Carole Rehbock. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced without express written permission from the publisher.
There are a variety of ways in which we make decisions, such as decision trees, force field analysis, lists of pros and cons, talking to friends and family, and so forth. However, a powerful tool for making decisions, which is sometimes overlooked, is self reflection. This can be either a short time out, or (I suggest) a regular practice of self reflection, which will help you make decisions that are more aligned with who you are.
Whether the decision is large or small, some process of self reflection will allow room for clarity on your criteria, what is meaningful to you, and what matches your priorities.
For some of my clients, self-reflection is quite difficult. Whether you call it "going within", "self discovery," or "self reflection," it requires a time and place to get quiet and do some hard work. Do you have an ongoing practice for self discovery? Do you have a practice of taking time out to reflect on the day, on decisions, on what is important to you? Taking time out to be quiet and reflective means changing the pace of your normal routine.
What are we actually looking for when we go inward? What does that phrase really mean? One of my mentors, Dr. Fredric Hudson, coined the term “cocooning” as a phase we all go through during transition. This is the time we talk to ourselves, get in touch with our core values and re-evaluate our situation. When we are in the “cocooning” phase we are usually in the unknown, unsure of what will happen next. It is this uncertainty and worry that we will not find the answer that sometimes prevents us from taking the quiet time alone.
Effective self-discovery requires some faith that an answer will emerge through quiet examination. In our fast-paced, results-oriented culture, we tend to think that "doing" will give us an answer. It takes some discipline to allow ourselves to simply be, to sit and contemplate who we are, and to think about how a potential decision aligns with our values.
One of my clients was doing quite a bit of reading on his “life purpose” as a way to decide whether he should pursue other opportunities in his current career, or change careers entirely. He realized he was not doing any of the self-reflection exercises or activities in the books. He was therefore making little progress in moving forward. Self-discovery means time with yourself to ponder and “be in the question” without figuring it out. These "time outs" usually lead to more energy and clarity.
What are the questions and decisions you are thinking about? How can you use self-reflection to enhance your decision-making?
Tips from Clients
The self-reflection process can take many forms. What is important is to find something that works for you and is done on some regular basis. Here are some tips from my clients on what they have found successful:
- Journal for 10-20 minutes a day or a few times a week
- Meditate (join a sitting group to get support)
- Take yourself on an 'artist’s date': set aside one hour a week alone to be creative
- Go for a walk in nature or go out to the beach
- Go on a spiritual retreat
- Use your lunch hour to walk or sit in a quiet place
- Designate a space in your home for solitude
- See a therapist
- Take 10 minutes to sit quietly in your car after work before entering the house
- Make a list of what you are grateful for
- Go to a self discovery workshop
COPYRIGHT AND PUBLISHER INFORMATION
© Carole Rehbock. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced without express written permission from the publisher.