Issue #17:
What is Your Mount Everest?
When we think of Mount Everest several images come to mind: the highest peak in the world; danger; challenge; climbers who succeed and some who die; horrendous weather conditions; and survival are just a few. What I find interesting is that when my clients are having difficulty in doing what they say they are going to do they will say, "well, it isn’t Mount Everest, I should be able to do it." Situations can range from having a difficult conversation with a boss, co-worker or family member; writing a few pages for an article someone would like published; picking up the phone to call a prospective client; asserting our needs on a challenging project; or asking for support. In their mind my clients are comparing what they want to do with a risky, extremely difficult event.
This made me realize that each of us has things in our life that feel like Mount Everest, and I started thinking about formulating helpful ways to work with these situations.
One key guideline is to acknowledge that the given situation is a challenge for us uniquely, and to appreciate that it's not productive to compare ourselves to others. It may not be Mount Everest literally, but it certainly may be feeling that way for you, and acknowledging that without judgment can give you the opportunity to look at what steps you may want to take so the task becomes doable.
ONE OF TWO APPROACHES
Although I am not a mountain climber, I thought it would be interesting to see what it takes to climb Mount Everest—literally!—and how that might apply to other situations. My research on the Internet validated what I thought would be true. There are some basic things we all need to do when we are doing something challenging. Of course, the amount of time we take and the skill it requires differ, but the steps are similar. Here's what the experts consistently say are the steps in preparing to climb Mount Everest:
1. Know your purpose
2. Do your homework
3. Ensure you have the adequate background and experience
* Gain the skills you need
* Take a class
* Get a trainer
4. Practice
5. Have the right equipment
6. Plan for the conditions you think you will experience
7. Determine what support will you need
Interesting, isn't it? I am just beginning to train for a thirteen mile walk for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and here is how I am going through the seven steps above:
1. Purpose: my purpose is to raise funds to fight leukemia and to be physically fit and healthy.
2. Homework: I researched many organizations that sponsor walks and marathons prior to choosing this organization.
3. Experience: I regularly walk now but not that fast or for long distances. I need to gain skills in this area as well as in fundraising. Classes and a coach will be provided.
4. Practice: there is a specific schedule I plan to follow that increases how far I walk and how much I walk daily for a period of 4 months.
5. Equipment: there is a class I will attend that will advise me on gear and equipment.
6. Planning: I am doing research on the geography of the area to know the weather and the terrain.
7. Support: I will have support of the Team in Training organization and of family and friends.
How might this seven-step system work for you? Look at the project you want to complete, or the relationship you want to build, or the dream you want to make a reality, and see how you might use some or all of these steps to make it happen.
That's one approach anyway: it feels like Mount Everest, so treat it as if it were, and follow the steps necessary; ensuring that you develop the skills, practice and gain support; and define small doable steps along the way.
THE SECOND APPROACH
Another approach might be to see the reality of the current situation. Acknowledge that even though it may well feel as daunting as Mount Everest, that is not the truth of the situation. Are you really at risk of losing your life? Are you in danger? Will your lack of skills and experience translate into disaster? What may be closer to the truth is that you are simply picking up the phone and calling someone to see if they need your services, or setting an appointment with your boss to discuss your career development, or working on a project team and have a task to fit into your existing workload. Mount Everest is in our mind and making it a lot bigger and scarier than it really is.
How can we discover what is true versus what our fearful inner dialogue is telling us? What are the facts and what action do we want to take based on those facts? Sometimes we may need assistance with a coach, therapist or spiritual counselor to help us to see the obstacle that gets in our way. It could be past conditioning of limitations, or old limiting beliefs about what we can or cannot do. By uncovering those beliefs, we can use that knowledge to let us know if the challenge is really Mount Everest, the 'bunny slope' or something in between.
Recently, a client of mine was thinking about moving into a new position in his organization. He was hesitant to talk with his boss about the opening. As we discussed it, he saw that he had promised this action after each of our last two sessions, and he simply "did not get around to it." As he examined this he realized that the truth was that he did not set up a meeting because he was concerned that his boss would react negatively. He had no evidence that this would be true, as his interactions with his boss on career development in the past had been positive.
The truth was that he was afraid he would be rejected in the new position, so he convinced himself that it would be better not to try. His Mount Everest was having this conversation with his boss that might propel him to a new position. By seeing what was true, he could decide whether or not he wanted to go for the new job based on the facts of the matter rather than his emotions. We looked at his past performance reviews, his skill set for the new job, his experience and background. We also examined the possibility that he wouldn't get the new job, and considered that if he didn't try he would never know. The real risk, in other words, was quite manageable.
We all have our Mount Everests to climb. If we can acknowledge them without judgment—no matter how big or small they may seem—we can see what is true. If we focus on taking one step at a time, we can make it to the top and continue aligning who we are with what we do.
RESOURCES:
1. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers (Ballentine Books, 2006)
2. Conscious Courage®: Turning Everyday Challenges into Opportunities, by Maureen Stearns (Enrichment Books, 2004)
COPYRIGHT AND PUBLISHER INFORMATION
ALIGNING WHO YOU ARE WITH WHAT YOU DO is ©2007 Carole Rehbock. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced without express written permission from the publisher.
Carole Rehbock is a career and life coach, and consultant, who specializes in helping people align who they are with what they do in life. Learn more at www.rehbocksolutions.com or give her a call at 510-843-6417.
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