Issue #13:
The Heart of Influence
About our guest author
We are all in the position of needing to influence others or sell ideas in many areas of our life. Influence may be promoting an idea at work, gaining cooperation from volunteers on a project, working with the teachers or administrators at our children's schools, enlisting people to support us, interviewing for jobs or day to day interactions. Many of us have negative beliefs about influence and selling and conjure up the old image of the "used car salesman". However, we can align who we are with what we do while influencing others.
I've asked a colleague of mine, Carol Costello, author of "The Soul of Selling", to be a Guest Author for this e-series. It's all about staying within your values while influencing others. I am grateful to Carol for sharing her wisdom with you, and I hope this article will give you a perspective on a way to influence others that aligns who you are with what you do.
-Carole Rehbock
The Heart of Influence
by Carol Costello
The most potent thing we can do when we want to influence people is to focus consciously on serving them. That means making sure that we honor, respect, and appreciate everyone with whom we speak-whether or not they "buy" our idea, vision, or project. It also means bringing our best selves to the task, and speaking with people from our own personal values and from our hearts.
That's a tall order, but it's what gives us the freedom and the capacity to make powerful, positive changes at work, at home, and in the world. We can play full out, because we're not worried about manipulating or pressuring anyone. Influencing others becomes an opportunity to discover, express, and strengthen the values and integrity that live within us. "Influencing" becomes "inspiring"-a chance to intentionally align who we are with what we do.
When I started selling and training others to use their influence to affect change, I faced a dilemma. I loved what I was offering people, but I was riddled with negative attitudes about "selling" and its cousin, "influencing." Some of these attitudes came from family and society; others came from my own hair-raising experiences with Girl Scout cookies, school magazine sales, and telemarketers. I had to let go of those old ideas, and reframe influencing into an activity I could embrace wholeheartedly. Here are some tools that worked for me:
#1. Re-define influencing or "selling" as service. This is the definition I used: Influencing, or "selling," is taking a stand for something you find valuable, and offering it to people in such a clear and inviting way that they see value for themselves and get on board with you. Begin by clarifying the specific, genuine value that you see in this project, idea, or vision. Then simply offer it to others in a respectful way and let them decide for themselves what benefit (if any) it has for them. Invite them to participate, and continue to see the best in them even if they say "no." These kinds of conversations can be joyful, and even uplifting. They dissolve stress and improve results.
#2. Let influencing others enhance your own well-being. When you know that you are being good, and also doing well, you can embrace the act of influencing. You are simply taking take a stand for something that you believe will enhance people's lives, and offering them that gift. This is enriching and fun, even if you "have" to do it all day long!
Influencing others is what we make it. If we use our influence with the conscious intention to serve, it becomes not only a contribution but something that feeds and energizes us. When we see the best in others, we are being the best in ourselves. And when we are being the best in ourselves, we naturally see the best in others. Within this "zone," we create a synergism with people can become a force of nature.
Making these attitude adjustments in order to embrace influencing was the greatest gift I ever gave myself. It let me step up fully to what I wanted to do, have more fun, and thrive both personally and professionally.
It helped me align who I am with what I do. I wish that for all of us.
Carol Costello is author of The Soul of Selling.
COPYRIGHT AND PUBLISHER INFORMATION
ALIGNING WHO YOU ARE WITH WHAT YOU DO is ©2005 Carole Rehbock. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced without express written permission from the publisher.
Carole Rehbock is a career and life coach, and consultant, who specializes in helping people align who they are with what they do in life. Learn more at http://www.rehbocksolutions.com or give her a call at 510-843-6417.
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